If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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