i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
People in love make me want to vomit
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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