The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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