is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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