Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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