Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
