Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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