What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
