I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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