i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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