Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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