If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I want you more than these girls want KFC
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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