Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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