They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
