is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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