Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
