I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize