I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize