i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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