Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
