some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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