It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
