Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
