she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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