but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
In America we eat man semen.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
