The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
