plz talk dirty to me
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
