Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
