You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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