Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize