Capitaan dildo arrescate!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We need to get me chipped asap
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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