THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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