Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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