I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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