Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i can't believe i had my finger in that
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
