some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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