I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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