well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
