It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize