You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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