So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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