I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
