I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
last night I used snow as a chaser
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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