I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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