I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
