The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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