The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He shit in the fireplace
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
