hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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