is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
