would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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