Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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