Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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