Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We left an ass print on the piano.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
