She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize