I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
