sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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