I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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