To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
