so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Green mimosas i think yes
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
