At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
