i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
