My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
