Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
