Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
